Memory Verse: “…Shall we accept good from God, and not trouble?…” Job 2:10
“Sweethearts, right now it’s not about your happiness, it’s about your obedience.” my husband is lovingly teaching our girls as they are pushing some limits. It may be a truth very hard for us to swallow even as adults, yet so necessary to get a grip on as early as possible.
The adult version of this teaching? ‘God is more interested in our holiness, rather than our happiness.’
We tend to blame God when we deal with personal grief or world-wide sorrows. We have no problem in telling God it’s His fault and that He is unfair: Why children die of starvation? Why Christians are persecuted? Why a loved one has cancer? Why the marriage is falling apart? Why is everyone happy and I am not?
This topic is very complex to tackle, but it’s worth trying to scratch its surface, rather than ignore the subject because of its difficulty to fully understand it. We’re going to do that by looking at a few principles found in the Bible.
Difficult roads lead to the most breathtaking places. The most exquisite jewellery is purified by fire. A precious baby takes nine months, and lots of pain. A godly character takes time, pain, and patience loaded with prayer… God didn’t invent pain, he allowed it as a natural consequence of sin when Adam and Eve disobeyed. God wanted holiness from them more than happiness. So, He allowed natural consequences to come about. Eve will have babies with lots of excruciating pain (so glad we’re adopting), Adam will provide for his family with lots of hard work. God doesn’t want circumstances to dictate the smile on our face, he wants more for us… to be joyful even when things are unpleasant.
Why Do We Go Through Pain?
- To learn to fully rely on God, not our own strength. For many years I have struggled with body weaknesses that doctors never diagnosed. I would go through seasons of it. That’s when these verses became literally my anchor of hope. “Three times I pleaded with the Lord to take it away from me. But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me. That is why, for Christ’s sake, I delight in weaknesses, in insults, in hardships, in persecutions, in difficulties. For when I am weak, then I am strong.” 2 Corinthians 12:8-10 NIV
- To be able to encourage others. Someone who lost a dear one, can find the right words to the family in mourning. Someone battling cancer can better minister to a patient with terminal disease. A couple who walked through the rough patch of infidelity can model forgiveness without saying a word. As we’ve been doing a lot of marriage counseling in our church, the most rewarding part is to see how the struggling couple becomes the counselor to help others overcome similar problems. “Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God. Christianity is not about making us feel good, it’s about doing the godly thing.” 2 Corinthians 1:3-4 NIV
- Because we can bear more than we think. “No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it.” 1 Corinthians 10:13 At times, I wonder if God thinks higher of me than I do, because I thought my ‘pain’ tolerance was way smaller. Just to take into account this past year.
- I thought we had enough on our plate dealing with the pain of adoption: getting emotionally connected to traumatized kids, setting up house rules overnight that people develop in 7 years, dealing with government bureaucracy on our own etc. Also dealing with the naturalization process: more paperwork, more financial sacrifices, more interviews… As we felt overwhelmed with life, work, new adjustments and a few health struggles, in December we ask the church if we could have 6 months off to regroup. Instead, come January we deal with a life threatening heart attack that changes our lives. In February, one of our daughters struggles with anger crisis as a RAD kid (Reactive Attachment Disorder). A month later we end up in the hospital with our oldest as she’s diagnosed with Diabetes type I- insulin dependent. A few weeks later we deal with a risky blood clot, followed by another anger crisis. When we asked for those 6 months off, that’s not what we had in mind.
- Because our struggles are of a spiritual nature. “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.” Ephesians 6:12 NIV
- Because suffering produces character: People pay to get ‘Character Training’ for employees, or for their children. Yet, there’s one sure way to get character, it comes for free and at unplanned times. “Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope.” Romans 5:3-4 NIV
- It can bring joy “Consider it pure joy, my brothers and sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance. Let perseverance finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” James 1:2-4 NIV I have a relative whose gift is to be an encourager. So, weekly she would go to hospitals and visit the sick, the lonely, and the hopeless. Many a times she might hear the words, ‘but you don’t understand!’… A month ago, I found out that she has cancer. For a little while she became in need of encouragement. Then, she realized that now she can go and talk to those in her shoes, but with more authority. She found joy in the middle of pain. She’s not wasting her cancer away to pity party, but using it to glorify God.
- God is more interested in our holiness, rather than our happiness. “But just as he who called you is holy, so be holy in all you do..” If we obey with a happy heart His Word, joy will come after doing the right thing, but usually not the other way around. There’s a Biblical principle God taught the Israelites as they roamed around the wilderness. You obey, you are blessed, you disobey, you will be cursed. “However, if you do not obey the Lord your God and do not carefully follow all his commands and decrees I am giving you today, all these curses will come on you and overtake you…”, “If you fully obey the Lord your God and carefully follow all his commands I give you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations on earth. All these blessings will come on you and accompany you if you obey the Lord your God…” Deuteronomy 28 If I were to ask my girls what would make them happy, they might tell me things like: eating chocolate instead of meals; wearing high heels and blue nails; instead of going to school, watching cartoons. That’s their view of happiness. As a loving parent, I can’t let my girls become couch potatoes, with no education and long blue nails. We may define happiness differently than God. It’s the holiness God is after. His joy will surely follow and can be overwhelming even while shedding tears.
- In the end, we simply need to accept that “Our God is in heaven; He does whatever pleases Him.” Psalm 115:3 NIV We may not understand why bad things happen. But, we do live in a sin-cursed world, that brings pain and hurt with itself, yet in God’s sovereignty, that pain will produce a beautiful outcome.
Things I need to work on:
- Learn and apply the memory verse
- Encourage someone this week that is going through difficulties, no matter how I feel
- Embrace hardship and not waste it away (easier said, than done)
- Accept that God does what He pleases, even if it doesn’t make sense to us