Memory Verse: “I say to the Lord, ‘You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.’ ” Psalm 16:2
Every morning before the girls go to school we read the Bible together and pray. We love doing it as a family, but this business with God is very personal. So, we are slowly trying to teach the girls to have a quiet time of their own as well.
The tradition is that when they read their own devotional books, they have to come and share with us their lesson, then we pray together for God’s help to apply. This morning, our oldest runs to me and joyfully shouts: ‘ Mommy, I just learned that I need to love myself.”
“Oh, boy!” thoughts came flooding into my mind, trying to figure out the damage it has done to a kid who already loves herself plenty.
‘Loving yourself’ is another touchy subject that believers can have strong opinions on. I’ll try not to be divisive on this issue, but bring a biblical view in the matter. Please have the patience to read to the end before you dismiss it.
Loving yourself seems to be strongly related to self-esteem, according to psychologists. What does the Bible say about that?
A Biblical Perspective On Who We Are
1. We are beautifully created in God’s image. We should be amazed at how God created us: how our eyes blink about 12 times a minute, yet it doesn’t disturb us; how our kidneys are no bigger than a standard computer mouse, yet all the blood in our body passes through them several times a day to remove waste; a single strand of hair can support up to 6.5 pounds of weight (3 kg); our heart pumps around 2,000 gallons (7,500 liters) of blood in one day, day after day… until one day 🙂
- “So God created mankind in his own image, in the image of God he created them; male and female he created them.” Genesis 1:27 NIV
- “For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well. Psalm 139:13-14 NIV
2. We got stained by sin. Adam and Eve’s bodies were perfect: physically, emotionally, intellectually, and spiritually- up to one point. Genesis 3 shows how sin entered the perfect world. Sin brought with it self destruction: physically- there will be excruciating pain; emotionally- they were covered in shame and fear, intellectually- getting a hold of knowledge by disobeying God cost their innocence and brought them to guilt, spiritually- they got separated from God.
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“To the woman He said: “I will greatly multiply your sorrow and your conception; in pain you shall bring forth children; your desire shall be for your husband, and he shall rule over you.” Genesis 3:16 NIV
- “Then to Adam He said, “Because you have heeded the voice of your wife, and have eaten from the tree of which I commanded you, saying, ‘You shall not eat of it’: “Cursed is the ground for your sake; In toil you shall eat of it all the days of your life.” Genesis 3:17 NIV
3. We got saved from our sinful nature. Blood has to be shed for the forgiveness of sin. C. S. Lewis in the Chronicles of Narnia does a great job depicting this picture. Edmund, a young boy, is a traitor. The White Witch (the Devil) tells the Lion (depicting Jesus) “You know that every traitor belongs to me as my lawful prey and that for every treachery I have a right to a kill… His blood is my property.” As the Lion will sacrifice his life on the big Stone Table the White Witch continues “Now I will kill you instead of him as our pact was and so the Deep Magic will be appeased.” That’s what Christ did for us. In order for the Creator’s justice to be appeased, the Devil had the right to a kill, but doves and lambs were not sufficient to cover the world’s sin. God came up with a permanent solution, His perfect Son.
- “For just as through the disobedience of the one man the many were made sinners, so also through the obedience of the one man the many will be made righteous.” Romans 5:19 NIV
- “In fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness.” Hebrews 9:22 NIV
- “For Christ also suffered once for sins, the just for the unjust, that He might bring us to God, being put to death in the flesh but made alive by the Spirit” 1 Peter 3:18
Should I love ‘me’?
Question is: ‘Who am I? Is there something lovable in me?’ In Genesis, God told Moses His name “I Am Who I Am”. My full name is Naty Tully ‘He’s ALL That I Am NOT’. That’s my last name. I am adopted into His family.
Without Christ, there’s nothing pleasant in me. I might have a few abilities, but pride might get in the way. I might be blessed with a beautiful- healthy body, but gluttony or other sinful habits might destroy that. I might have a peaceful marriage, given to temptation anyone can lose that marital bliss. There might be a great job with its financial rewards, but excessive greed can steal it away.
Apostle Paul had reasons to boast, humanly speaking, yet he says: “But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ.” Philippians 3:7 NIV
- Our identity in sin
- “The heart is deceitful above all things and beyond cure. Who can understand it?“Jeremiah 17:9-10 NIV
- “For out of the heart come evil thoughts—murder, adultery, sexual immorality, theft, false testimony, slander.” Matthew 15:19 NIV
- Our identity in Christ
- “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; old things have passed away; behold, all things have become new.” 2 Corinthians 5:17 NKJV
- Our motto needs to be: “You are my Lord; apart from you I have no good thing.” Psalm16:2
When we talk about self-esteem we focus on: looks, age, race, job, weight, abilities, status and many more outward things. Man looks at the outside, God looks at the heart. (1 Samuel 16:7) We need to know who we are in Christ. We need to work not on our self-esteem, but on our Christ-esteem. It’s the only thing that will help us to truly understand our value in Christ.
People with low self-esteem are labeled as shy, insecure, having a negative attitude, unhappy, depressed, poor communicators, dependent, and with poor self-image. In Christ the shy will find sufficiency and strength in God (2 Cor. 3:5, Phil. 4:13), the unhappy will find joy even when circumstances seem to be against it (James 1:2), the negativists will change their pattern of thinking to whatever is lovely, pure and praiseworthy (Phil. 4:8), the dependent will learn to rely on God and not himself (Prov. 3:5), the ones with poor self-image will accept who they are (Ps. 139:4- I am wonderfully made), will protect their body and mind (So, glorify God in your body. 1 Cor. 6:20) and improve on who God made them (“Having gifts that differ according to the grace given to us, let us use them.” Rom. 12:6).
To Conclude
In conclusion we need to remember that Jesus summed up the law and the prophets with two commandments, not three.“‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbour as yourself.’ Matthew 22: 37-38 NIV Here, it’s implied we tend to love ourselves too much. If only we could show that much love to our family, friends, and co-workers.
You might say, someone suffering from low self-esteem and dealing with depression, might commit suicide because they don’t love themselves enough. Committing suicide is the most selfish thing someone can do. They don’t think of the pain the loved ones will go through, they selfishly take matters into their own hands. (I am not talking here about those unique situations where someone’s judgment is affected by certain prescribed medicine.)
So, should I love ‘me’? I should love Christ in me. For some, it may sound too way up there in the spiritual world and not very practical. Personally, I could easily be labeled as someone with low self-esteem. I can be shy (can’t convince my friends of that though), I can easily be a negativist (my husband always cheers me up), I can get easily depressed. Yet, only by God’s grace I gain confidence, I rely on Him, I stick to Him like a leech when trouble comes, and I aim not to forget Him when times are good. He is my all in all. To me, it’s practical. I’m a living example of that.
This past Sunday we ended our service with this beautiful song by Dennis Jernigan that reminds me that God is my all in all:
You are my strength when I am weak
You are the treasure that I seek
You are my all in all
Seeking You as a precious jewel
Lord, to give up I’d be a fool
You are my all in all…
Taking my sin, my cross, my shame
Rising again I bless Your name
You are my all in all
When I fall down You pick me up
When I am dry You fill my cup
You are my all in all
P.S. A little note for those that might think they suffer from High Self-Esteem:
- “Pride brings a person low, but the lowly in spirit gain honour.” Proverbs 29:3 NIV
- “… Do not think of yourself more highly than you ought, but rather think of yourself with sober judgment…” Romans 12:3 NIV
Things I need to work on:
- Don’t take for granted how amazingly God created me: eyes to see, feet to walk, lungs to breath, mouth to speak.
- Use my body with all its senses to glorify God
- Increase my Christ-esteem, not self-esteem.
- Love my neighbour as myself