Our daughters are in the Romanian school system. Some teachers have an interesting approach to mistakes written in a notebook. When there are mistakes on the page, the page looks messy. When the page looks messy, the teacher tears that page out. Why? So that the notebook will look nice and tidy.
(This is the case with one of our daughters. Her notebooks look like they are on a slim-fit diet. Beginning of school year the notebook is chubby. By the end of the school year the notebook is ready to wear skinny jeans. What can I say? Some of us are just more prone to making more mistakes.)
For the last couple of weeks I’ve been working on certain projects. Last night I was sharing with my husband my disappointment that I just can’t see any progress. I wake up very early, I go to bed late. I am busy all day. I am tired at the end of the day, but I see no results. Instead, all my plans are turned upside down.
For a perfectionist, this is very frustrating. (My girls say “Mommy is a ‘profectionist’.” It’s true, I love being a pro and God is stretching me.)
My husband is great at speaking truth into my little world. He gently pointed me to the progress I had made and then lovingly said ‘Sweetheart, life sometimes is just messy and that’s ok.’
As much as our kids’ notebooks will get messy, life in general tends to be messy.
We can try to tear apart pages from our messy life, just as some teachers do at school. We can get frustrated they happen. We can try to put stickers to make the mistakes look cute. We can pretend they never happened. We can even try to hide them from others, so we don’t look bad.
What To Do With The Messy Life?
If life is messy because of sin, take drastic measures against it. Set yourself in a place of blessing. We tell our girls this principle all the time “Obedience brings blessings. Disobedience brings consequences.” Life will bring along challenges anyway (because we live in a sin-cursed world), but when our heart is defiant toward God’s truth, we make our life even more difficult.
Matthew 5:29 shows us how serious we need to be with sin “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell.”
If life is messy because of past mistakes, STOP looking back over your shoulder. Look forward to how God will use your hurt to reach out to others, how you will be stronger because of the growth opportunity you went through. Satan is so happy to see us stuck in a puddle of mud. He loves for us to eat mud pies instead of savouring the real Godiva Cheesecake from the Cheesecake Factory. When our mind drifts off into the unforgivable past, refuse to go there. Don’t let flying birds make a nest on your head. Make amends where needed. Confront if you were wronged, then move on.
“… But one thing I do: Forgetting what is behind and straining toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God has called me heavenward in Christ Jesus.” Philippians 3:13-14 You may not be able to forget certain things, but you can surely avoid dwelling upon them.
If life is messy because of tragedies in our life, Christ is the only hope to bring our joy back. We have friends that lost loved ones to cancer, to car accidents, sudden deaths even at a young age. What keeps them going? God’s grace that is sufficient to each one of us in the hour of need. I’m not aiming here for a very deep spiritual answer. When rubber meets the road, this is what happens. Only God can heal that kind of hurt. We’ll see the beauty of sorrow and tears, if not on this earth, one day in Glory.
“…My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness. ‘Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me’.” 2 Corinthians 12:9
If life is messy because we have kids, remember it is just a season. Parents, especially moms that give up their careers to invest in their kiddos, might get easily trapped into discouragement. We may feel like we’re not getting much done. Picking up toys after the kids, feeding the kids, playing with the kids, teaching the kids, reading to the kids… all focused on the kids. We may not see progress right away, but the Bible says in Proverbs 22:6 “Start children off on the way they should go, and even when they are old they will not turn from it.”
*Also, don’t feel guilty for taking a day off from the kids. Go recharge your batteries.
Another verse I am often reminded of is Proverbs 14:4 “Where there are no oxen, the manger is empty, but from the strength of an ox come abundant harvests.”
Sure, life is messy in various shapes and forms for all of us. When life is messy and I get out of control, is it because I WANT the control? Stamping my feet in disagreement with what’s going on in my life, will bring nothing good, it might result in a twisted ankle instead.
Let’s pray to God when our joints are too weak to stand tall. Let’s ask others to faithfully pray over us. Relax in the knowledge that God’s control is way better than mine. As I said this before, let’s stay calm and carry on, ’cause we know God’s in control.
Things we need to work on:
- Don’t stamp your feet ’cause Life Is Messy. Accept it with the right heart attitude.
- Deal with the mess in your life in a God-honoring way.
- Count your blessings. Work harder at not complaining.
- PRAY for God’s peace to calm your heart and mind.